3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
