the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
