We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
