when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
