yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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