We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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