So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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