OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
