Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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