it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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