so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
