i can't believe i had my finger in that
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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