LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
