i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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