haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
