and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
