the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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