The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
