trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
