I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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