I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize