I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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