And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
