Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
