stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize