Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
