Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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