I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize