I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
