we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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