you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
