But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
