so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
