So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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