we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
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