i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
