if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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