Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
