Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
