I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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