I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
