Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
