And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
