come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
