Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Randomize
