he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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