nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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