Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
