oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
