i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i can't believe i had my finger in that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
