Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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