Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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