She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
