i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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