the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
