Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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