no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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