Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
