I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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