I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
