Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
