I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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