so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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