honey bunches of taint.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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