I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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