I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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