I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
