I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
