I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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