fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
